I read of someone complaining, slating a book after reading all 600 pages! Apparently they had read ten books by the same author and they were rubbish!
I thought to defend defend the author using my newly devoloped Olde English style.
“There is neither good nor bad only thinking makes it so.”
What of a man not starving but eating a meal to complain at each mouthful? Yet plate clean did talk of nothing but disgust. And belly-aching of foul nourishment did curse the cook. Would thou not call that man a fool? To consume in entirety something of such distaste. 'tis better methinks to choose from choice a meal more hearty, according to his taste. A goodly man more humble may speak of his displeasure of salt perhaps, the dish more suited to the pallets of others. Would not even a king declare the meal fit for a pig.? 'Tis food, tis nourishment, only the fool would declare it not.
I'll start with the net and work my around to racism and the west. The internet was a great leveller especially forums and the like. You are attempting to communicate, sometimes in real-time using only one of your senses and with the added protection of anonymity. There were down sides but a good thing was people like me got hear what people said about other groups believing nobody representative of said group was present. Racism is rife, trust me, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Ignorance of the affliction or denial, is however a problem. A lot of politically correct people take an anti-racist stance, but they're clueless. Almost like those green people the ones that drive to the bottle every other Sunday, I see them from my window. I don't have the heart to tell them it would take all the bottles they used in two years to counteract a single trip to the bottle-bank in their Chelsea tractor.
Warren what's his name, the chap that plays Alf Garnett, seems like a nice man. I saw him being interviewed once, he's very well spoken. He said he was in a taxi once and the driver praised him saying he was great. The driver loved the way he took the piss out of the wogs and the coons. To which the actor replied. “Actually I was taking the piss out of people like you.”
As for racism and offending others, for Stan2's bad Caribbean impression. In the real world, in my real local pub somebody may well have rendered him unconscious for the same. The little comments I made like 'Not you Jay, you're one of us.' I've heard addressed to me a thousand times. Do you know how offensive that is?
People from the West believe their standards are higher than others, hence we judge all others by that standard but the standards are not better they're just different. Y'all get involved by thinking your helping and your not, it ends up causing wars. Arranged marriages are bad right? But statistically they are more robust than their counterparts. Another annoyance, white people telling me not to call black people black, apparently they're coloured. Did anybody actually ask them what they want be called. And yes, I can see how telling somebody of a particular religion there is no Hell could be taken as offensive. What? Didn't you learn anything from the Salmon Rushdie episode. The West wants to police the world, it can't help itself. If for example in African-American new culture a man wants to call his woman, biatch and she's happy to answer him. What has that got to do with us? What right do we have to interfere? You don't get it do you? Let's take the N word. Most of you will find that offensive, you will not take it along with context and intent as most black people will. You do crazy things like try to stop N----- using the 'N' word as a term of endearment. How does that work? Sorry boss says we can't say it, and we shouldn't be talking while we bailing cotton.
This is the internet, a general common sense guide is to treat it as an alternate world. Never let your real life cross with your 'internet life' you actually risk exploitation and put yourself and family in danger. Over time in a forum or chat-room do you know how much information you actually give away? You say you live in a Wiltshire village, Stonehenge is just ten minutes away. You're husband's Dave – Thelma's husband Bob passed away, dreading the funeral on Sunday. A bit of cross referencing and obituary scanning and any one of 7 billion people know who you are and where you live. Now think back, did you actually mention when you were going on holiday?
So if you want to be real people, having real things you're welcome. Me, I'll crack a joke and just go back to being Michael Scott whoever he is.
Max was on a roll, he didn't think she'd invite him in for coffee but she did. As he washed his hands he noticed how clean and tidy the bathroom was. Ivory tiles shone and golden fittings sparkled. He drew back the shower curtain, smiled and took out his phone. "I can't make it tommorow, I'm probably gonna be tied up." An answerphone somewhere recorded his message.
I apologise, but the fact is my mind is in the gutter most of the time. I have decided to stop taking the medication and embrace this fact. So here's my latest epiphany, Inferred Intelligent Adult Humour. I can hear it being quoted now as the technique of the future. The idea is these things hide in your work, like viruses waiting to be discovered. If this gutter humour is ever discovered you can deny it, put it down to coincidence.
Don't worry if you don't get it all - Unless you're kinda twisted you're not supposed to.
If you're five years old, it's a man saying he's gonna be late. If you're any older than that then, 'I'm probably gonna be tied up' is a rubbish sitcom type joke. If an inquisitive type you may wonder what lead him to believe he was going to be tied up.
Today, I'm unhappy. I got hold of the script for 'Man on Fire'. It's 25,000 words resulting in a fairly lengthy movie. I've written letters to Santa Claus longer than 25,000 words! Anyway, I wrote a letter to cuss them.
Other than that been working on Fibonacci's Child, and having Woman Trouble.
Whenever I'm out, and I need to pee, I can never find a public toilet. Does George Michael have some sort of special satnav upgrade? He always seems to be able to find them no trouble.
After the World Trade Centre incident, and then the bomb in Islamabad. I think Marriott Hotels should lose at least one-star. For me personally I suspect the tent
I was born in England, never lived anywhere else but there's stuff that I still don't get!
So the sun's out and I sit out on my balcony writing my latest gripping chapter. To aid my mood I load Windows Media Player and I've got my little 70's jazz/funk playlist playing. It wasn't loud, it's an old Dell laptop. How loud can it go? The volume slider was about half way up, I swear! My neighbour frowned at me.
"I'm sorry," I enquired. "Is my music disturbing you?"
"It's a bit loud," he grumbled. For the sake of good neighboutly relations.I turned the music off.
Ten minutes later he came out with his dog. You know those nasty little yappie terrier things that bark at absolutely everything. The little mutt barked at flies fleas, airplanes and even changes in wind speed. Then I was subjected to the bovver of the hovver for an hour or so.
Why in suburban life are some nuisances acceptable and others not, I don't get it. Tell me how that works exactly?
The other night I had a date, a hot date. Now I'm scared. The thing is... Fifteen years ago I knew this girl, she was awesome. Anyway shit happens and not everthing in life works out. So I'm writing a my first epic novel and I base the character on her. I know we (writers) all do it. I swear, I finished the novel and she turned up. She's even better than she was, we went out the other night. Now I know I'm a bit out there but was it just that an old flame turned up (coincidence) Or did my heroin come out of my novel to date me?
Like i said, I'm scared
I wrote an article about football - Don't ask why! It's posted here
From time to time I set myself exercises. The Devil's in the Details was supposed to satisfy several criteria.
1) A mute as a protagonist, the idea being to improve my animation and choreography.
2) A mysterious 'Tales of the unexpected' type plot. - A new area for me.
3) It has to work as the basis for a low budget shirt film.
It's working out okay. I'll leave it in my short stories section when I'm done. I must say I'm proud of the bizarre premise.
I so hate poetry! Probably because I don't understand it.
Here's my effort!
Imagine
Imagine a technology, like movies on demand.
What if you could stop, pause or rewind in the blink of an eye.
Imagine if technology allowed you to know the people's thoughts.
What if you knew their thinking, as well as hearing their words.
Imagine in the future, a built-in central computer fed data directly to your mind.
What if the sounds, the smells and all around could be reconstructed in your head.
Imagine the time when entertainment systems can be smart and green.
No power requirements, no resources needed, one hundred percent recyclable.
Imagine this brilliant thing, yet to be made or invented.
What if it were here today. Just imagine that, imagine a book.