Michael D. Scott

Thank you for taking the time to to critique "Compliments of the season". I appreciate your comments.

Many of the points you made, although negative, I accept with gratitude as a newcomer seeking to improve my skills in the craft of short story writing.

>Your mention of the repetition of certain bland, unremarkable words betrays the fact that one of my devices was unsuccessful. I was attempting to create a frame around the scene which would act as an indicator of the white noise, monotonous, uneventful nature of an overground train journey and the echoing sounds from the rail and carriages. I hoped this ploy would serve also to prevent the incident from being perceived as titillating to the reader. In fact, I tried to remove all sense of build-up of human relationship tension - rather I hinted at mundane evaluation of an animal -stock.
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The comment that the story was reminiscent of a "rape fantasy" is correct - in so far as I attempted to forward one explanation as to why otherwise civilised, politically aware, well-adjusted people may harbour thoughts of this kind or indulge in such activities. The title and final "shot" were intended to make clear that this behaviour might be closer to "race memory", realised flash-back, hormones and genetics - rather than playing out a sexual fantasy. A psychological equivalent to the tail on a human embryo.

Sadly I did not achieve the aim of taking the reader into my confidence on this occasion, but I will continue to try.

I hope that you would consider doing a similar favour for me, should I again need to test the efficacy of any of my future mini-projects