So there we were, smoking and being happy, and the green people said to the government.
“These people are unhealthy, in years to come they will clog up the NHS.”“Discourage them, tax the tobacco the heathen peasants smoke!” cried the Prime Minister.” And it was done. The Chancellor lined his pockets and with the Prime Minister they danced and drank wine.
So we moaned as we sat and drank our beer, vodka, and white wine spritzers. And the green folk hailed the government saying. “These people and their liquor, they will cripple the NHS.”
“Discourage them, tax the alcohol the heathen peasants drink!” bawled the Prime Minister.” And it was done. The Chancellor filled his boots and opened a Post Office account and with the Prime Minister they danced, drank bottled water and called up some premium rate chatlines.
So we drove our cars to work, moaning in the traffic. The green lot emailed the government saying. “Those people are polluting, killing our children and ruining the planet.”
“Tax tax and tax again! We shall not have this behaviour!” chanted the Prime Minister. And it was done. The Chancellor opened a safe deposit box in the Northern Rock building society in which to store the riches. With the Prime Minister they danced, drank alcohol free lager and paid ladies of the night to entertain them.
And then came the credit crunch and we could smoke and drink no more. (We became healthy and bought bicycles) – We moaned at the Prime Minister, we were poor and would lose our homes. “Give the peasants money!” he ordered.
“I can't.” shrugged the Chancellor. “All the money's gone.” So the the Prime pointed to the Green People and screamed “Blame those bastards, it was all their idea!”