I've got a full length mirror in my room. - It's important for you to know that. See, here's the thing! 16/10/2008 at 23.06 GMT. I have bowed down to my reflection and exclaimed.
“I am not worthy!”
It's goes a little something like this. A while ago I wrote in my blog. “Why can't novels have 'Editor's Editions' like movies have 'Director's Cuts'? You know, deleted scenes alternative endings – That sort of stuff. I did write it in 85% jest.
So I'm editing my soon to be published Absolution. I swear, I'd had no alcohol, no drugs nuffin'. But I did it.
Pulp fiction is a toy! Tarrantino is a toddler, trust me.
I'm weird, we all know that. So logic dictates I'm gonna write a weird book. All kinda twisted.
Absolution's opening scene is two people in a little room trying to contact anybody in the outside world on their mobile phones. One comments. “It's like everybody's just vanished.”
Scene two is the destruction of New York by nuclear attack.
Scene three is Helen turning off the television showing the movie containing the destruction of New York – fooled ya!
There then follows a 135,000 word story about gangsters and drugs and stuff. The only part that you need to know is that Helen's husband dies and she goes away to sort her head out.
The last scene is of Morgan and Brooke in her student room, trying to contact their friends to tell them that Brooke is okay. They can't get through to each other because all seven are trying to call each other at the same time.
You may recognise this as scene I (clever eh!) - The story ends there.
Now for the Director's cut!
In every scene containing a TV or small talk is the escalating friction between the US and China over the invasion of North Korea in the background.
In the second last scene Alex is about to assassinate somebody with a high powered rifle. In the 'Directors Cut', he's momentarily disturbed by the testing of London's flood defence sirens
Rather than end on the first scene, we roll on to the second scene (destruction of New York) and then add a final scene of Helen on beach in Florida.
If you really don't get it – Helen's not watching TV, she's not there to turn it off. So maybe this time it's real.